so i started selling things on ebay on top of working 2 part time jobs... i'm making a good chunk of money rn (yes, united states irs, i will pay my taxes on it i promise) so far i've made around $300 on ebay alone. feels great. i've even got a budgeting plan figured out too. i'm planning on getting my new laptop after this next paycheck which is even more exciting.

i've worked so much lately tho. lots of work, little time for play. my knees hurt from standing for so long and i'm tired of sweating while being outside in the heat. ouch. all this work is making my mind melt. i'm deluding myself "oh this coworker likes me" but i KNOW that's not true and getting a delusion like that so early in the job is NOT going to help anything. (no it's not the "hehe delulu i'm so goofy" type of delusion either. that'd be so much easier... i'm talking about gaslighting myself into thinking something is true type of delusion...). luckily i'm not listening to myself in those events and i refuse to. i just want money, i don't want any trouble.

i decided that i would pair more fields of study with my graphic design major. i decided so far that my major is graphic design and i would get a minor degree in sexuality studies along with another in marketing or coding. I'm torn on the second one because a) that's a lot of work and b) idk what i want to do and c) idk if i'm even getting into the graphic design program at my school. either way i don't really have a preference - marketing and graphic design are popularly paired with each other but because web development and design and graphic design are so linked maybe that will work. i honestly dunno.

next semester will be crazy for me and idk how often i'll update my website. i'm doing an intensive graphic design intro course which will decide if this career is for me or not. that on top of taking 16-18 credits this semester in general... going to be wild. hopefully i dont have a nervous breakdown at the end of the year again but we shall see... i hope to be able to create some awesome stuff. and maybe friends too (i haven't really made any friends at college, mostly just classmate-friends).

- haven